Seems like you missed the PBS series "Carrier" that seemed to be running during prime time during all of May.
On that ship it seems most people serving on it generally knew who was gay- and almost no one (most were under 30) seemed to find it a significant problem. It seems to be a generational issue.
The Israeli military and the British seem to have no significant issues with gays serving.
Of course they know who is gay?
Jesus, why do people want to think our soldiers are so dumb and so fragile?
Here, go someplace where at any moment someone may kill you, or you may have to kill somebody!
But, I am worried you can't handle it, if someone in the unit is gay....
Or on the other hand, I doubt any soldier has ever been diagnosed with PTSD due to serving with gays.